My Daily Bread

The bathrooms and kitchen are clean, the laundry is done, the living room is clutter-free, and the baby is napping.  Insert [sigh] here.  It's the small victories in life that get me through.

God is continually teaching me to lean on him every moment of motherhood.  I'm trying to navigate each day with grace.  Some days I'm successful; others not so much.  My constant prayer is that God would give me my "daily bread" or my "motherhood manna" so to speak for each day.

My energy level has been up lately, which is a blessing.  I was able to get back in the water last week thanks to my wonderful hubby.  We traded baby for surf board and let each other have a go.  It was nice to be out  in the ocean... taking in the silence of God's creation.  There are so many facets to what he creates--crying babies to calm waters and vice versa.  It's amazing how something that can bring you so much pleasure can also cause so much heartache and devastation.  Relationships, children, the ocean, your job, money... the list goes on and on.

Anyway, I love my daughter more and more as she grows and learns new things.  Loving her and bonding with her was not something that came right away though.  I thought it would, but it took a little while.  I was able to see within the first few weeks of her life just how conditional MY love really is.  When she cries and cries and cries... it's hard to love her.  From about two to six weeks, every second she was awake (unless she was eating), she was crying.  I can honestly say that I got no joy out of parenting for about a month. On the flip side, when she's happy I feel that my love for her abounds.  She smiles, laughs and coos, and my heart just melts.

I'm not sure how this all relates to God's love for us.  I guess it shows me that I'm not capable of unconditional love.  It shows me just how patient God must be to love us without condition even at our worst.  It also shows how imperfect I am.  I love others--even my own daughter--according to what I might get out of it.  It could be something as small as the joy of a smile or a pat on the back, or as large as a financial inheritance.

My prayer is that God will teach me to love like he does.  I want to be selfless, but in an age where "Selfie Sunday" is what's in, I'm finding it harder and harder to put others first.  I'm learning that parenting is the most selfless job I'll ever have, and I'll keeping leaning on his everlasting arms for my daily bread.

I can't believe my little munchkin will be two months on Saturday.  This has been the longest and shortest two months of my life!

Looking all grown up with her Lamb.

My sweet morning girl.

Beautiful mom and daugter shot!

Absolutely love this precious kiss!

My beach baby.  She loves the sound of the ocean...

"But mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore—the LORD above is mightier than these!"

Psalm 93:4