Life Lessons in the Garden
Yesterday morning, I finally mustered up the energy [and motivation] to whip “the garden” back into shape. We call it the garden, but really it’s just a planter [that I’ve yet to successfully grow anything in] and a mildew-coated sidewalk between our kitchen and garage. A place that turns into a muddy play area for the girls when it rains. I’m not complaining. They love it… and mid-morning, it’s just about the only play area outside that’s shaded. They’ll spend an hour back there some days washing their toy animals with toothbrushes 
Even though I can’t get anything to grow in there, I still like to try and tidy it up every now and then–purely for aesthetic purposes.
It had been months since I touched it. Probably well before Cary was born last year. So last week, I sprayed some round up on everything but the large plants. It took about a week, but the living weeds eventually died. As you can imagine, the weeds had completely taken over. The girls helped me clean up, and as we got our gloves on to start taking out the dead weeds, I got to thinking about a few different analogies that seemed to fit the situation.
The first thought that came to my mind as I was clearing dead weeds [while simultaneously trying to help the girls get their gloves on] was the fact that raising children is like cultivating a garden.
I listen to Sally Clarkson a lot. I have read several of her books, and really enjoy her podcasts. She’s a mom who’s gone before me, and likes to encourage and equip young moms who are in the daily grind. She’s on the other side now, with four adult children who are each serving the Lord in different capacities. She often likens motherhood to gardening. She talks about how we train, instruct and nurture our children little by little, day by day, moment by moment through rhythms, routines, and selfless intentionality.
Why does it sound so easy on paper?!
When you’re a parent, you’re never off duty. You don’t get to take a break from MOMing. Sometimes I wish I could check out, but those are the times that refine me the most–when I’m tired, when I have a headache or backache, when I’m trying to get the baby to sleep and my toddler [who’s potty training] pees all over the floor. When I’m running late for a doctor’s appointment and someone has to go poop or someone spills an entire cup of milk all over the counter. Or when someone’s screaming or whining or pouting. I could go on, but you get the point. We’re never going to get a “break”, so with the help of the Holy Spirit, we have to find a way to press on and find teachable moments in the chaos.
Seeds are planted really early, but cultivation happens over a period of 18+ years. Day after day–nurturing them, guiding them, pointing them to Christ–again and again. Letting them see your short-comings, and then repenting. Asking the Lord’s forgiveness [and theirs] when you lose your mind. Because some days you will; some days you’ll blow it. But that’s just a reminder that his mercies are new every morning! Being intentional in your actions and the way you train them. Humbling yourself before the Lord and asking for help and wisdom in trials (James 1:5).
I’m preaching to myself here. Sometimes I need to be reminded that the Christian life–kinda like parenthood–is a marathon, not a sprint. Just as seeds don’t pop up and bring forth fruit or flowers the day after they’re planted, neither will our children. It may take years of praying, years of toil, or decades of cultivating before we see any fruit. And that’s only if God grants us the privilege. Only Christ can do that work. Our job is to cultivate what he’s put in our charge. Plant the seed of the gospel. Water it daily with discussions about Christ and truths from His Word. Fertilize it often by being involved in a local church body that preaches and practices living out the Word. Prune it when necessary. Create the right climate at home and strive for Godliness.
Slow and steady. Little by little. Never giving up.
The second thought that came to my mind [and a completely different analogy] was the fact that weeds don’t stop coming. We’ve got to continually be rooting them out or they’ll completely take over. Just because I used round-up today doesn’t mean they won’t be back in a few weeks. Sin is always knocking on our doors, and it’s the natural inclination of our hearts. We have to guard against it.
Two books that I have not read yet, but are on my list: 1) The Mortification of Sin & 2) Indwelling Sin in the Believer, both written by John Owen in the 1600s, talk about this. “Be killing sin, or it will be killing you.” Every day, we’ve got to repent and ask the Lord to deliver us from the evil one. This is something that I often forget.
If I’m not actively asking God to show me my sin or taking time to think about how Satan might be getting a foothold in my heart, I’m prone to thinking things are fine. But sin is subtle, and as a mom it comes a knocking in many forms–namely selfishness and pride.
Something as simple as clearing the weeds from my planter this morning has sparked all these thoughts of living the Christian life and raising children as unto the Lord. I’m glad he can use simple things like this to speak to my heart and point me to Himself. To God be the glory!
