Everyday Gospel
We’ve been hit with a bout of sickness that has me extremely frustrated. It’s been almost a month since the first one of us got sick, and now she’s got it again–only worse.
It’s easy to throw a pity party for myself, and believe me I’ve had my share these last few weeks. The girls and I have missed so many events and activities we’ve wanted (and planned) to attend. Being home ALL day is NOT in my nature. I like being home for part of the day, but I also enjoy being out for part of the day. Not so when you’re sick…
Most days, we’ve been posted up in front of the TV lounging on sheets draped over the couch with “throw-up bowls” close by. In fact, all day Thursday and most of the day before I was curled up in bed with a pillow over my head. I’m thankful for a husband who could come home early from work just so I didn’t have to “mom” for the day.
When I woke up yesterday morning, however, I was feeling much better and ready to get back into our routine. Since I had gotten so much sleep the day before, I awoke without an alarm. Nice and early, at 5am. I decided to shower then head downstairs for some much needed time with God. After a few minutes in prayer thanking Him for my health and the quiet morning, I heard a shout from upstairs: “Mommy, I need your help!”
Not knowing what to expect, I quickly headed up the stairs to find Lily (4) sitting up in her bed, and the smell of vomit permeating the bedroom. My first reaction was “Why!? Why is she sick AGAIN? Aren’t we rid of this stomach flu yet?” My next thought was an attitude of grumbling. Quickly, before I let my circumstances drag me down I lifted up a prayer asking God to give me the strength to get through the morning.
Of course Cary woke up with us talking right next to her crib. She was ready to play! Thankfully, Emma slept a little longer while I took the other girls downstairs, got Lily cleaned up, and put on a show. Once Emma woke up, I got their breakfast ready and mentally prepared myself for what was to come. It was sure to be one of the most epic clean ups in all of MY momming history (thank you McDonald’s french fries the night before).
I got my gloves on, all my cleaning supplies, and headed upstairs for what seemed like hours. I tore the room apart. Every sheet, every mattress, every frame was wiped, sanitized and vacuumed. Down on my hands and knees, as I started in on the vomit, I all could think about was the gospel.
The song, From the Depths of Woe (Psalm 130) by Indelible Grace came on my Spotify playlist as I literally “washed” the stains from the carpet… or at least tried to. It was so futile though. The chunks of potato were stuck in the twists of the carpet. If I scrubbed too hard, they were sure to get jammed down deeper.
Tears began to stream down my face. For many reasons probably. Yes, I was overwhelmed and tired and had a headache, but more than that I was thankful to God for the way he rescued me from my sin.
God used that moment of despair (or depth of woe), to point my eyes toward Him and the truths of scripture.
Any effort on my own to clean or pluck out my sin in order to stand before God as spotless is futile. I can’t make myself clean enough. Christ did that. And now the Holy Spirit lives in me helping me to resist sin and turn to Christ.
That vomit was like the sin in my heart that is so detestable to God and once separated me from Him. Yet He, in His kindness, reached down and didn’t just tidy my heart or tweak a few things, or spray some Resolve to mask the stench. He gave me a complete makeover. He imputed to me the righteousness of His Son–who was fully God and fully Man–who lived the perfect life that I was incapable of living, and satisfied a debt I could never pay.
Not carpet cleaner to mask the stench, but completely NEW CARPET–a new heart. Thank God. Because if my sin is anything like those chunks (and I know it’s much worse), then life would be looking pretty hopeless.
Anyway, I cleaned as best I could… and let OxiClean do the rest. I got on with my day and tended to my children. But I’m so thankful that God uses everyday moments to remind us of His love for us. His kindness leads me to daily repentance–I had to repent of my attitude, of my frustration, of my lack of trust in Him and my feelings of entitlement. Praise the Lord for trials where perseverance has the opportunity to develop. (James 1)
Oh, and I had to add the lyrics to the song that came on. They literally came on as I started scrubbing! So perfect. They were written by Martin Luther in the 1500s and still ring true today.
“To wash away the crimson stain,
Grace, grace alone availeth;
Our works, alas! Are all in vain;
In much the best life faileth;
No man can glory in Thy sight,
All must alike confess Thy might,
Grace, grace alone availeth;
Our works, alas! Are all in vain;
In much the best life faileth;
No man can glory in Thy sight,
All must alike confess Thy might,
And live alone by mercy
Therefore my trust is in the Lord,
And not in mine own merit;
On Him my soul shall rest, His word
Upholds my fainting spirit;
His promised mercy is my fort,
My comfort and my sweet support;
And not in mine own merit;
On Him my soul shall rest, His word
Upholds my fainting spirit;
His promised mercy is my fort,
My comfort and my sweet support;
I wait for it with patience”
Lily is still sick, please pray for her. She didn’t eat anything all day yesterday, so I know she’s weak. It hurts my mommy heart to see my babies in pain.
