Detrimental Comparisons

Why is it that in order to feel good about myself, I must compare my life with the lives of others.  I tend to make things all about me.  Sometimes, I can't even seem to rejoice with others in their victories because I'm so hung up on my failures.  When I feel like I'm not measuring up, it's usually because: my house isn't as tidy as_______, my motivation or energy level is less than _______, my prayer life is not a strong as _______, my eating habits are _______, my life isn't as exciting as _______, I wish I had a career like _______.  Of course, this list could go on.  We've all been there.  Many of us have those people in our lives that seem to have it all together.  In the Facebook era, we all subconsciously (some of us consciously) try to make our lives look more awesome than they truly are.  When I see someone doing well, oftentimes my first thought is jealousy rather than joy; envy as opposed to delight.  When someone is going through a rough patch, I'm usually just "glad it's not me."  It always comes back to me comparing my life to theirs.  Herein lies the problem--my heart.

This might not be something everyone struggles with, but this is what I struggle with.  It's so easy to compare your life and the way you do things to those around you.  Satan likes to sow seeds of inadequacy into my life in this very way.  Through my recent (yet short) journey in the land of parenthood, I have come to realize that the game of comparison doesn't stop with ME.  It's beginning again with my daughter.  There are endless things to compare.  Sleeping through the night. Breastfeeding. Bottle feeding. Working outside the home.  Working inside the home.  Reasons for crying.  Colic.  Cloth diapers.  Disposable diapers.  Natural remedies.  Pregnancy weight gain.  Postpartum weight loss.  Vaccinations.  Pacifiers.  Swimming.  Diet.  Toys. TV.  Discipline.  Organic food.  Friends, etc.  Each of these things has the potential to be a source of contention.  Everyone has their own take on each subject, and if you don't care... well, it seems you're judged for that as well.  

I love my daughter very very much!  But I can honestly say that it was hard to love her in the beginning.  I feel like a bad parent even admitting that.  Having a child that cries more than "normal" was a hard pill to swallow for both my husband and I.  She's four months old now and much much better, but she's still fussier than most babies.  I was envious of all my friends that had mellow babies.  What frustrated me the most in those first few months were the comments and stares that I got from friends and random strangers.  And so the cycle of comparison had begun again with my daughter.

And here's where I need reminding of God's promises and acceptance regardless of how disheveled my life seems at time.  Even though I may feel more accomplished and put together, he doesn't look at me any differently if my house is tidy, if I read my Bible, write in my prayer journal, lose ten pounds, give up chocolate, or have a baby that is pleasant to be around.  God loves me, and continually beckons me to sit at his feet in worship and reverence.  I pray that I can answer his call more than I have been lately.  That I would see the beauty in others and the unique gifts God gave to them.  That I would enjoy the company of others without comparing my life to theirs or feeling judged by them.  

Romans 12: 

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

 In this Christian life, we know we live by grace.  That's the only thing that gets us through. We "know" in our minds that we're not good enough to please God, but we try oh so hard to be worthy enough to earn his approval.  Are you using your God given gifts and blooming where you're planted, or are you trying to be transplanted to some else's garden, hoping you'll blossom better there?

I couldn't resist adding a pictures of my munchkin!  So happy these days :)

Thankful Thursday

I thought I'd start something new.  I'm going to attempt to update my blog each Thursday giving thanks to God for the blessings he provides.  Sometimes the blessings are disguised as "refining" moments where he molds and shapes us more and more into his image.  These can be painful experiences and pleasant ones.  I hope to record both, and give thanks in all things like the apostle Paul encourages us to do in his letter to the Thessalonians.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."      -1 Thessalonians 5:17

I'm thankful for:

• the GOD who loves in spite of our failures and shortcomings
• the HOPE of eternity through Jesus Christ 
• a wonderful HUSBAND who supports me in all aspects of life
• our FAMILIES in Florida and Indiana for raising us and teaching us what's important
• a CHURCH dedicated to preaching and living out the gospel
• the opportunity to buy a HOUSE in Hawaii
• KIM and JORDAN for letting us stay with them while we work on ours
• FRIENDS who are so willing to help us out each step of the way
• JOBS that support us financially
• SISTERS in Christ that live both near and far whom I can confide in and rely on 

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I've been thinking a lot about craftsmanship in this whole house process.  Over the past few months I have become more skilled in using power tools.  Mike is very proud of that fact, and I am too.  Yesterday, I started making a bench for my classroom.  I want to set up a reading station or "nook" for the kids to have alternative places to sit during S.U.R.F. time [Silent Uninterrupted Reading Fun].

As I began to craft this bench, I wanted to make the cuts perfect.  Of course I needed a measuring tape, a chop saw, a steady hand, and a vision.  I needed to know what I wanted this bench to look like, and the purpose that it will serve.  There are several analogies in the Bible that display God as being the creator, master craftsman, and potter.  I was reading in Ephesians this morning about how we are created for his purposes.

"We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."    -Ephesians 2:10

Just as I desire my bench to serve the purpose of providing seating for my students, God had a plan and purpose in creating each of us.  He rescued us (like distressed wood... which is the craze these days) and crafted each one of us for different purposes.  It wasn't because we already looked good on our own; we CANNOT boast in that.  He saved us from the landfill.  He took something seemingly dead and useless, and made us worthy vessels.  He created us for good works, so let's walk in them!!  (Eph. 2:8-10)

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On a different note, I had a little fun busting up some tile yesterday while Mike was asleep.  He's been working nights these past few weeks and sleeping during the day.  I thought I'd share a few pictures.  Enjoy!  The tile is almost gone.  We took three loads to the dump... which is what got me thinking about landfills and craftsmanship in the first place.

Just call me "tile buster"

Bruised and battered knees... even with knee pads!

Got a little carried away... busting tile with a sledge hammer is rather therapeutic :)

Battle wound, but SOOOOOOO worth it!!