Blog, with a nine month old... you must be crazy! Seriously, we've had so many adventures as a family lately, but I don't have the motivation to capture and publish them.
Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to think,
when the truth is there are a million things you’re thinking about all the time? My mind never really stops thinking, but it’s
usually about trivial things like… What am I making for dinner? What ingredients do I need for that? I need to go to the store. Why are you crying at my feet? When was your last nap? When did you eat last? How long do I have before she wakes up? Ohhhhhhh, she’s awake! I should clean the car. I should go for a jog. Maybe I’ll unload the dishwasher or throw in a
load of laundry. No, my feet hurt. I’ll sit and fold laundry. Lily, don’t cry at my feet please. Crap, the living room is a mess. Why are there crumbs everywhere? Lily, please don’t cry at my feet! What was I making for dinner again?
This is my train of thought. It’s a crazy train, but the Wolfepack is all
aboard! I’m sure there are many moms out
there who can or could at some point relate; however, I’m beginning to realize
that there are many types of kids and many types of moms. I’m a part of a huge community of awesome
moms, yet somehow I feel like I’m different.
It’s all I can do to focus on Lily sometimes, and it wears me out. I don’t feel like typing, or blogging or
focusing on anything. I need
motivation. I look at moms who work, and
wonder how they do it. I know staying at
home is an important job, but all too often thoughts of guilt and inadequacy
creep in to bring me down. I love what I
do, but sometimes it seems like I’m not doing enough. Again, I compare myself to others I see
around me and wonder why I can’t keep up. I only have one kid, geez. Morning devotions, a rigid schedule, exercise and a healthy diet?! They crazy.
Aint nobody got time for that!
Then I feel like something must be wrong with me if I can’t juggle it
all.
Nothing
is wrong with me! The
truth is, some days I do feel like super woman… like I can take on the world! Other days, when I hear her scream from her
crib I just want to climb back under the covers and cry myself back to
sleep. And that’s OK. We have good days and we have not so good
days! The bad days make me thankful for
the good ones.
The awesome thing is that I know I’m not in this
alone. So many parents out there can
relate with me. The other wonderful fact
is that no matter how short I fall, I am saved by God’s grace through faith-everyday. It’s a gift of God, not by my works, so that
I can’t boast, brag or blog about it. So
even if I did do everything right and had perfect days everyday, it still
wouldn’t be enough. Praise Jesus! I don’t want to boast in my sin, but it does
abound. Thank you Lord that you forgive
our sins and draw us to yourself.
Help
me to see you in all of life’s circumstances.
Help me turn to you in the good times and the bad—the days I’m ready to
take on the world and the days I want to hide under the covers and cry. Thank you for being my rock; my calm in the
storm; my refuge; my perfection.
